literature

A Hawkeye Never Cries

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Literature Text

It had been ingrained in her since childhood.  Since the day her mother had been buried, and her father, not knowing how to deal with a bawling six-year-old, had slapped her and said, "A Hawkeye never cries."

She'd taken it to heart.  When dinner burned, when her hands were raw from doing laundry, when she accidentally broke a plate---a Hawkeye never cries.  It became a mantra.  As her father had tattooed his secrets onto her back, she'd said it over and over.  "That's my girl," he'd said after she'd slipped and said it aloud.  "A Hawkeye never cries."  And when her father died---a Hawkeye never cries.  Never mind the fact that the only person she had left in the world…was him.

She shut the door of her apartment and sighed, kneeling to greet Hayate.  He'd sent her home.  "Rest," he'd ordered, "or you'll be no use to me later.  Breda and Falman can cover for one night."  Of course she'd objected---she was the better shot, and the men, though dedicated, weren't necessarily the most well-behaved.  However, he'd stared at her with such intensity that she'd relented.

In all honesty, she was glad.  The way he had scolded her---he'd been right, of course, but it didn't mean she hadn't wanted to curl up and hide.  He hadn't dismissed her.  "I'm going to continue entrusting my back to you.  Commit yourself," he'd said.

She forced herself to stand, to go into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.  Then she sat down and began cleaning her guns.  She'd slipped up.  He'd almost died, and now Havoc was paralyzed from the waist down.  A tear fell onto her hand.

No.

She'd already lost control once.  Her deepest fears had been realized, and she'd fallen apart.  Why had she believed Lust?  Why had the Colonel been there in the first place?

Because he was an idiot.  Because he'd come to save her.

She should be dead.  If he hadn't arrived just then, she would be.  Now he was in the hospital, because he wanted to protect her.  She was the one who was supposed to be protecting him!  And she'd failed, horribly so!  More tears fell, and she hastily wiped them away.

A Hawkeye never cries.

Except she had, she had screamed and bawled because that bitch---Lust---had killed him, or so she'd thought.  Killed him in cold blood, and was damn pleased about it, too.  She'd fired shot after shot at the Homunculus, only to have her look up, smirking, and ask, "Finished?"

And the tears had come.  The Colonel was dead.  She'd fallen to her knees, helpless.  Lust was right.  She was foolish and weak.

Looking back on it, she was ashamed.

She'd been helpless.  Alphonse had stepped in front of her, told her to run away---but what had been the point?  Life without the Colonel…to her, that was no life at all.  Faithful to the last, she'd told Al to run.  She didn't mind dying, now that there was no point in living.  Now that he was dead.

Alphonse Elric, that little boy of fourteen years, had set her straight.  "I won't let people get killed anymore!  I'll protect them!"

Then she'd understood.  There were other people to protect.  Al, and Ed.  And she had to go on, continue the Colonel's dream of making Amestris better.  To protect the people---people like Gracia and Elicia Hughes, like Winry Rockbell.

Suddenly, his voice had rung out.  "Well said, Alphonse Elric!"

He was alive, and she had a reason to live again.  She'd barely gotten a glimpse of him before Al had transmuted a wall and pulled her close, protecting her from the flames that were burning Lust alive, over and over again.

Hayate whined, and Riza Hawkeye was brought back to the present.  She smiled at her dog, who barked softly.  The Colonel had saved her life twice that day, and what did she have to show for it?

Absolutely nothing.  She'd lost faith in him, in his vision, and he'd had to set her straight.

She wiped the last remnants of tears from her eyes.  No more.  She'd never lose faith in him again.  She'd follow him into hell if he asked her.  She'd protect him unto her dying breath.  She'd be his conscience.  She'd help him stay on target.

She was the Hawk's Eye, after all.

And the Hawk's Eye did not cry.
My first legit FMA fanfic!

Summary: After the battle with Lust, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye goes home and reflects on what has passed.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 735
Status: Finished, barring edits.
© 2010 - 2024 katzypotter
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sakurablossom17's avatar
This is awesome!!!!!!